something's in the air tonight...

(nostalgia strikes again)

it smelled like fall tonight. like real, live, here-to-stay, september fall. not the end of august, just-a-colorado-teaser fall. jola and i went for a run down the parkway in the dusk; as we crossed monaco, i caught the scent of charcoal grills, something burning, lawn mower fuel and wet grass floating through the air. the fading light illuminated the trees and their leaves, and quietness of the evening settling in took over me as we ran. 

this morning on the radio, i was listening to a dj tell me that the enemy knows what to do to paralyze me into doing nothing: he will use sights, sounds, smells, anything he can, to evoke a response in me that floods me with memories and leaves me motionless, useless, unmotivated for God. this evening, as i was so easily transported into heavy, beautiful nostalgia through the aromas on the breeze, i thought about this idea. i can't argue with it: i know that complacency is the number one tool of the enemy- not doing anything can be so much worse than any kind of doing. and, i was witnessing, as i ran, first hand how amazingly powerful those familiar sights and sounds can be. and that's the idea that the dj was talking about: the enemy uses our own memories and emotions against us, and transports us into analysis paralysis, and then we're stuck. doing nothing. 

but, if that is true, that the enemy can know these things so close to us and use them against us, then it must be true that God can do the same thing. God is so much bigger and mightier than the enemy. of course He could use the same tactic! in fact, i would argue that the enemy stole this tactic: one of the most powerful, God-given gifts that make us human is our ability to feel, emote, remember. God gave us this gift, so it makes sense that He would be able to use it for good, to enable us to remember and lose ourselves in those comforting, beautiful memories. 

tonight, i smelled charcoal grills and remembered my childhood; my dad in particular. i smelled lawn mower gas as i ran comfortably through the setting sunlight on the parkway, just me and jo. the smell and the run, combined with the cool fall breeze and the warmth created by running, the swish of my shorts and the sound of my steps...  i was suddenly transported back to my "single" days over the past five years or so, when it was just jo and i, not many others, and we would do long night runs all the time- training for races or just a simple friday night getaway.

altogether, the smells and the leaves of the trees in the parkway, the darkening sky and brightening lights, brought a more general level of feel-good nostalgia: fall. fall is my favorite season of all time... the leaves, the smells, the crisp air and warmth of a well-lit house at dusk, the pumpkins and yellow school buses and crunchy leaves... all these thoughts and feelings come back with a simple run like tonight. 

all of these feel-good feelings i can't really explain with words, but i feel comfortable, familiar, and at home resting in them. i wanted our run tonight to last forever- and now i want to find the words to bring these feelings back to life whenever they are missing, and i need the warm feeling of familiar, of home, of comfort.

i guess i'll just have to grab jo and go for a run.