power of prayer

(when in doubt, pray)

the last few weeks have been emotionally crazy, as i alluded to earlier. it was a lot of hard, hard decisions, mostly around whether or not to put my lil' myla moo to sleep for biting a child. it was one of the hardest decision i think i've ever had to make, and i spent almost one whole week wrapping my head around it. he helped me a lot, and talking with others helped too. part of the decision was based on what was best for my lil' hyper-dominant, tasmanian devil of a dog. the other part, sadly, was based on a lot of legal things: essentially, what made me "look" the best, and most responsible as a dog owner. we have heard from the family of the kid she bit, and while they are relatively nice and seemingly easy-going, there is still the unknown factor of what they are going to do, if anything, legally. the other part is that he got the ticket for the bite, meaning he has a court date in august, and could faces up to $1k in fines and/or one year in jail. !!!! obviously, that's the maximum penalty for horrible incidents like vicious pit bulls attacking children on command, and this was so not that, but... it is important for us to be aware of what can happen. and what (legally) looks like the most responsible thing to do.

so, about a week before the actual day of her release from quarantine, my little head finally got ok with the decision to put her down. i then spent that week really laying the foundation and plan of really how to do it (surprisingly {thank goodness}, it's extra hard to actually euthanize a healthy, young, albeit bitey, dog). i can't count the hours i spent on the phone with animal control fighting about vaccinations, licenses and euthanizing, and absurd things they were asking me to do (essentially, i was going to vaccinate, license and euthanize her in the same afternoon, because it was that much cheaper. they refused to accept proof of euthanasia instead of proof of current vaccination/license). nor can i count the hours i spent crying, imagining my poor girl prancing into the vet, unassumingly walking right into her last moments of life, with me holding the leash, leading the way.

needless to say, it was two very tough, hard to understand weeks here in my life.

and, did i mention i was dying of a sinus infection? cause i was.

the bittersweet day of her release from quarantine/final vet visit arrived, and i picked my lil' girl up, all smiles and wiggles, excited to see me and ecstatic i didn't forget her. finishing the paperwork, i went through stupid, stupid exercises of absurdity, yet again, with the animal control people (and i quote: "i'm sorry. we don't vaccinate on tuesdays"). aftewards, unkonwing myla jumped in the car, happy and carefree to be released from her doggy jail cell. she and i took our last car ride home, then took our last walk with jola, cuddled for the last time on the couch, and we waited for miss l and mama to show up for the final vet visit.

meanwhile, he had to go to korea on business, so i was without him when i really, really needed him. great thing is, he's amazing, and he sent me a dozen roses and a touching card to let me know he was there with me, in spirit. the harpers also stopped by to wish us well and good thoughts, and brought a bouquet of fresh cut, home grown flowers, and even m & j stopped by with a sweet card and thoughtful gift to wish us well and say goodbye. as the sun sank low through the late afternoon, miss l, mom and i sat in the darkening living room and spoke of surfacey, small talk things that kept our minds away from the upcoming event.

eventually, it was time. i couldn't take it anymore... so away we went: miss l, mama, myla and i in the jeep. we drove the few short miles to the vet, and just as i had imagined, myla bounded through the glass doors, standing eagerly at the front desk. the girl sitting there asked, 'what can i help you with?' and it was the hardest question i've had to answer.... 'i'm here to euthanize her', i said guiltly. 

a few minutes later, the four of us sat in the 'comfort room' in the back of the building, awaiting a vet. we all took turns petting lil' myla, and while she had no idea what was going on, she somehow knew to make the rounds of us, and got a little bit of love from each of us.

weirdly, as we were walking in, i jokingly told mom and miss l that, knowing the way things had gone so far, i felt like they were not going to let me do it, and that we'd actually not have to go through with the whole thing. little did i know...

a few minutes later the vet entered, and gratefully, it was the young vet from a few months ago, when myla got hit by the cars/bus. we chatted a bit, i explained the whole situation, and {insert sounding angels and kazoos here} she told me there was another option, and she didn't feel comfortable putting miss myla to sleep.

praise.
praise.
praise.

i did have some concerns about the other option and what we could/should do legally and ethically, and she gave us time to talk, while she went to fetch her mentor, the famed dr. fitzgerald of animal planet and beyond. dr. fitzgerald entered a few minutes later, and essentially agreed with the young vet, after assessing myla with his eyes (yes, he just looked her up and down a few times and told me, essentially, her whole life story. he's amazing). he looked like a muppet and had a low voice and dry sense of humor (in the 'comfort room', of all places) so i was a bit weary. but, after he left and mom and miss l swooned a little (really just told me he was famous) and we chatted a bit more, i was comfortable with the decision.

myla lives.

it was funny, we left pretty quickly after that, and both mom and miss l shared that they too felt like this was not the answer, and they had been praying that God would provide a way out. i reiterated the feeling i had that it wasn't really going to happen, even after we had arrived at the vet and went to the back room...i think even miss myla knew... look at this smile, straight from the 'comfort room':

i texted a few (lots, really) of my concerned friends, and most texted back that they had been praying this would happen, and what a miracle! later my women's small group (who had been praying/meeting togetherthat very night while we were at the vet) told me it felt like a abraham/isaac moment when they got the text about myla living. i have heard since then, from almost everyone, that her spared life was an answer to their prayer.

which means, if i count right, i had maybe like... twenty or so people praying, all the same day, all for the same thing.

and everyone's prayer was answered.

ah.
maze.
ing.

the fact is: the option they provided (a behavioral department at the longmont humane society) was not one i had necessarily explored, but not one i would have known about otherwise. up until tuesday, The Day, i had exhausted every possibility i knew, and had asked everyone i knew (including lawyers and other such informed, important people) what to do. and all signs pointed at euthanizing. every, single, one.

the amazing thing to me in the story, really, is not that myla lives (of COURSE that's the best part, duh) but the most amazing part is that i am confident, i know... this option would not have come to light if there had not been so much darn prayer about it. no matter what, i am sure that things would have worked out for the best, even if miss myla had met her ending at alameda east. but the raddest thing is that because of God's grace, my little myla lives and gets a second chance!

so now, the emotional roller coaster is slowing to a stop and the dust is settling. the day after the fateful vet visit, i took mymy up to the longmont humane society and said goodbye to her for good. it was sad and hard to walk out the doors with just her leash and her collar, but it was less sad than walking out with the guilt of her death on my mind.

and, the silver lining is that she has already been 'rehabbed' and is now up for adoption! anyone looking for a 'unique girl with a happy, wiggly personality' should go visit the longmont humane society. if you adopt her, i promise to be a great aunt... and split the adoption fee ;)