is that a mosquito in your pants?

i have a lovely deck outside.

lovely in my head, at least. there is a lot of work to be done on it: sanding, staining, getting rid of old hot tub mildew, getting matching chairs, tables and twinkle lights, getting rid of the old wooden steps, some weeding on the side,etc. however, in my mind's eye,  my deck is lovely and i love sitting on the mismatched lounge chairs my grandma and uncle sent to me.

i was lounging in my mind's eye paradise the other night as twlight crept in (the actual sunset evening, not the movie). i was talking on the phone, lounging on my luxurious blue italian chaise lounge (aka the blue canvas, wooden framed lawn chair my drunken uncle stole from some place in italy). i was enjoying myself for about five minutes when i noticed a bug on my arm. i slapped it, out of habit, and kept talking. a minute or two later, i noticed another. then i noticed i was starting to itch like crazy. so, smarty pants that i am, i went inside.

smarty pants indeed: once inside i realized that my right upper thigh and my... rear end... would not stop itching! i scratched, i slapped, i ignored, thinking it was just from the luxurious aforementioned lounge chair. perhaps something in the canvas was not agreeable to me, and i just need to scratch it out. i was sure it would surpass. i kept voicing my itchy complaints to my roommate, who so kindly sympathized with me. 'how am i so ITCHY? this doesn't even make SENSE?' i whined as i frosted cookies.

however, after about 20 minutes of continual itching of the exact same places, stopping to wash my hands each time to go back to frosting cookies, i just had to investigate- this was not just a reaction to old italian canvas. i went into my room, and pulled my pants down. on my upper thigh i found a cluster of 6 (SIX!!) bright red, welted mosquito bites, and a few more on my actual rear end. 'aly! it's all mosquito bites!' i yelled.

so apparently, a mosquito was trapped in my pants.
how many times do you get to say THAT?

the next day, my roommate brought my medicated gold-bond itch cream into my room and said, 'you may need this' with a smile in her eyes.

i love summer.