because what says “romance” better than a violin in your ear?

"Jackie Gleason Presents Music to Remember Her"
And what better way to remember her than with a disembodied head? Jackie Gleason, whose musical skills were pretty much limited to humming, released several albums of romantic music to provide a soundtrack by which guys might score with gals. My personal favorite is the feathered, wig-model like quality of the floating head in the bottom right corner. Come and get 'er, boys.

The International Pop Orchestra, "An Exciting Evening at Home"
There’s a whole school of bad album art in which people are doing plenty of nothing. This one at least has the audiophile in-joke of a fellow so obsessed with his hi-fi knobs that his part in the ratio of one guy to 11 women doesn’t even register with him. But what about the space suit his lady friend is wearing next to him? No wonder he's concentating on his knobs...

Prince Chango, "The Drums of Africa"
Lurid enough for you? There are scores of similarly “exotic” album covers, predicated on Americans’ notion that people in other lands were having more fun than we were. All I can say is that I can't wait to dance to these drums in 19 days.

Modesto, "Fabulous Rhythms of Modesto"
Modesto is not a real African drummer; Modesto is a real Central California city, known in the ‘60s as a farming town, known now by Forbes magazine declaring it to be one of America’s “most miserable cities.” It was never especially known for its fabulous rhythms.

Les Baxter, "Space Escapade"
Is that a phaser in your pants or are you just glad to see me? With the space program, our love of the exotic was able to extend to other worlds. Wow- it's like the Ambigiously Christmas Duo has landed in Teletubby land or something. Is that pink lady a secretary?

Various artists, "Symphony on Ice"
Here’s an album custom-made for the few people who could figure out how to ice skate while carrying a record player. It also is a fine example of a large sub-genre of bad album art featuring insanely happy people.

The Louvin Brothers, "Satan is Real"
Most of gospel artists only sang about hell. Bluegrass masters the Louvins recorded an album there. Enough said. I mean, how real-life Satan can you get?! And who wears white suits to Hell anyway?

Merrill Womach, "I Stood at Calvary"
The insurance salesman arrives too late to sell a policy. Guess no one told him it was a toga party. Guess I'm not the only one that wishes I could wear my polyester suit during time travel.

Bobby Bland, "Call on Me"
Operators are waiting to take your call. Sometimes album covers try to be a little too literal. I think I will call you, only because you're wearing a wedding ring, growing your feminine fingernails out and holiding a cigarette all in one hand.

Porter Wagoner, "The Cold Hard Facts of Life"

Again, a cover that’s perhaps too illustrative of the title: Porter comes home after a hard day of being himself, only to find his woman kissing on another man. If he wasn’t wearing protection, at least the lampshade was.

The Manchesters, "Beatlerama"
Some of the best bad art came from fly-by-night labels that tried to cash in on whatever was popular. As the most popular band in the world, the Beatles inspired a spate of rip-offs. Mom and Pop couldn’t tell the longhairs apart, and this album was $1.37 cheaper than the real thing, so guess which one they bought for the kids?

Captain Beefheart, "Trout Mask Replica"
Some argue that this is the worst album cover ever; others argue it’s the best. Still others argue that it’s both at once, proof that chaos rules the universe. Which ever it is, the cover’s the perfect introduction to the music inside. Why has no one replicated this vest fashion?! And where int he world IS Captain Beefheart these days, anyway?

Wild Man Fisher, "An Evening With Wild Man Fisher"
Fisher was a genuinely disturbed L.A. street person who would accost passersby with his songs. So Frank Zappa of course, recorded a double album of his songs. The cover was designed by Cal Schenkel (he also did "Trout Mask Replica" and most of Zappa’s early covers) who made an art of anti-appealing covers made to appeal to a generation turned off by slick advertising.

Parliament, "The Clones of Dr. Funkenstein"
Mix funk, psychedelia and sci-fi, shake it well and add a gallon of everclear, and you’ve got a whole new reality, as imagined by Parliament/Funkadelic leader George Clinton. I think there is too much going on here to even begin to comment in a nice, polite yet humorous manner.

Emery and his Violin of Love, "Play, Emery, Play"
Fullerton Museum Center
Because what says “romance” better than a violin in your ear? This is my PESONAL favorite- the band title, the album title, the picture, the longing look on Blondie's face here, just WAITing for Emery to play, play.

The Sex Pistols with Ronnie Biggs, "A Punk Prayer"
After offending the entire world and then imploding, the Sex Pistol’s remaining guitarist and drummer went to South America to enlist England’s most wanted criminal -- the Great Train Robbery’s Ronald Biggs -- to sing with them. And for the record cover, they got a guy dressed up as the most wanted Nazi war criminal, Martin Bormann, on bass. and a man in tights at lead. i'm jsut sayin'.

**please note that i found these priceless gems on msn.com, which found them at the Fullerton Museum Center in California. Most of the commentary is not my own, sadly, but was the cherry on top that made this my favorite find of the day. if i felt compelled to comment, i put my own comments in italics. like this**