girl's best friend

(...reflection of love)

a dear friend of mine just got engaged yesterday, and fortunately for me, it happened in the park about three blocks from our house, so she and her newly minted fiancee were able to come over right afterwards to celebrate with a champagne toast and relive the big moment. when they arrived, i greeted them both with huge hugs, appropriate squealing and "OMG's", and a glass of champagne (the extra booze from the wedding is sure turning me into a great hostess!). and of course, i had to see her ring. that's what you do, right? especially when it's so sparkly and bright. and beautiful, of course. she starting telling us the story of the proposal, and said her favorite part was when he got down on his knees, jokingly saying 'this is how you do it, right?"

and of course, that's exactly how you do it. we all know how it's done: the man makes a secret plan, tricks his woman into thinking he's not even thinking about proposing, buys a fancy ring weeks before, and then surprises her with all of the above and some wonderful, beautiful words that make her voice three octaves higher when she squeals out the word 'yes'. 

yes, i know how this is done, because this seems to be the year of engagements and weddings in my life: already we've got six weddings in four months, and have celebrated at least a handful of engagements. in the past six months, i've been thrust into the social norm of asking to see (and judge) diamond rings, talking and planning parties that cost thousands and thousands of dollars, and normalizing the idea of forever with one single person. at quick glance, it's all pretty 'normal' stuff, i suppose. especially at my age, with all my fun, beautiful friends. and of course, it's normal because it just happened to me. 

sometimes i look down at my hand, and realize that it's literally wrapped in diamonds (well, at least 1/10th of it is). and now, this is normal to me. before i was engaged, i'd owned one fancy piece of jewelry- a little pinpoint of a diamond solitaire necklace that i loved with all of my heart (given to me by mother for high school graduation). now, i've got thousands of dollars worth of diamonds around my finger, and sometimes even forget it's there. well,  more accurately (since i am a teensy bit obsessed with my ring): sometimes i forget what a big fancy deal it is. i mean, seriously: a man loved me enough to spend his hard earned money on something (if we're honest) frivolous and beautiful. just to call me his. i still can't believe it. 

now here's the thing: a lot of girls are ring/diamond obsessed- remember that saying, 'diamonds are a girls best friend?' i actually know people that sort of (subconsciously)  align with that idea. and while i love my ring so much for so many reasons (it's beautiful, he designed the whole thing, it signifies our love and his promise, etc etc), it's really just a shiny, durable rock at the end of the day. it's not my best friend. instead, it represents my best friend, my husband. 

this best friend who wakes up next to me every day with a smile and a kiss. this best friend who listens to me, laughs at all my silly jokes, and seriously considers my seemingly inconsequential issues. this best friend who knows my bad sides probably more than i do, and loves me in spite of them. this best friend who supports me unconditionally, and goes on weird adventures with me and lets me take care of him. 

this best friend wrote me a wonderfully touching email today, and said things that, if i'm honest, i've always longed for someone to say to me. it was so kind, so loving, that i almost couldn't believe he wrote it and meant it. but he did- he loves me that much! and i am humbled, beyond belief, that someone could and would have those feelings for me, and even shares them with me. 

and while my diamond ring could never do any of that, it does remind of me the man that does. every time i look at my ring, or spin my wedding band, or realize, in disbelief, that i've got real live diamonds on my hand, i see that man that loves me so much. 

and i hope, with my whole heart, that when my newly-engaged friend (and all my other engaged and married friends), looks down at her beautiful new ring that will soon become 'normal', that she is able to see the unconditional love of her best friend reflected back to her.