sometimes you feel like a nut...

(...sometimes you don't)

so  if you've been paying attention at all, my blogs are all dated every single day. however, the reality is, even though the pictures may be taken every day, the blogs sometimes get written all in a big chunk, and then posted accordingly. the reason for this piece of trickery strategery is to help me out with my busy work/life balance...

lately, if you've noticed, it's been a little out of whack... this whole balance thing. that, plus i've started juggling something more: a big, fat ball of low-grade depression. awesome, right? makes getting out of bed when i'm tired just that much harder (if that's possible).

that said, i've decided i'm in training. i'm in a stage of life where i can finally see the end of the career tunnel- or at least a large, sharp bend towards a new direction. right now, i'm balancing a full time job i don't love to set myself up for the future so i can do the job i love, full time. and finally, after counting up lots of my hours, i've been able to put a optimistic end to the planning, and can somewhat see where, in the nearish future, things may be a-changin. and i'm ever so grateful. and a slight bit baffled to see the light!

things i've appreciated about this journey so far: i've had to realize a lot of my short comings, and realize i'm actually (surprise surprise) fallible! i've had to actually sit down with multiple bosses and tell them what i can, and cannot do. i've had to tell them what i do, and do not want. i've had to risk a lot of things, including my full-time pay and job security. i've had to take initiative and start doing things without being held accountable... i've had to realize my limits, and also realize that i am, in fact, a professional- which was harder to grasp than the fact that i have limits. and, the biggest, and most awesome, rewarding lesson: how God provides.

in this journey, i have offered up financial and employment security when it hasn't made sense- at least to me. i just followed the leading in my heart, and took a few scary leaps of faith. and today, i'm blessed to have two amazing jobs that provide finanically and otherwise: i have amazing coworkers, support, opporutnity to grow, flexibility, and THREE DESKS. what more could i want, really?

and i'm still in training. i wonder what happens when i graduate??