fall arrived today.

at least the start of it.

i could tell because when i left the house this morning, i felt a chill in the air and considered going back to get a light jacket. i was wearing a white skirt. i felt the chill again this afternoon as i was delivering my meals on wheels route. and i noticed a few leaves on the ground from the towering maple leaves in the complex. if i inhaled deep enough while walking by these leaves, i could almost smell fall arriving.

i am actually, and surprisingly, bitter about the changing seasons this year. ordinarily i love fall the most; october is one of my two favorite months. october is when autumn is in full effect here in denver: changing, beautiful leaves, shorter, chilly sunny days, pumpkins and leaves and kids in school and crisp apples. the change in the air in october leaves me breathless with nostalgia and i feel full with life every single year.

that said, august is my other favorite month. it's the end of summer: the long days are still hot; the summer days have become routine, and i am outside and racing a lot and enjoying life. summer life. today i realized that august is gone, october is not yet here, and in between is september: a good time, but a transition nonetheless.

at church last weekend when the subject of fall came up between a few of us, i got genuinely upset at the idea of snow coming. "i am not ready for that; i'm actually quite pissed." was my exact response.dear melissa f, turning everything into something lovely as she always does, so graciously said, 'i've heard that's what all the natives say this time of year'. i promptly forgot about snow and relished in the idea that i am now considered a native somewhere in my life.

but the thrill of native colorado living wore off, and i wore a white skirt today as my own last huzzah (or perhaps last ditch effort to hold on) before the summer officially leaves. i wanted to doubt the chilly air, but then reminded myself that is, indeed, september, and slight bite in the air was a foreshadow of the days ahead.

so this is me, letting go. letting go of summer and all the (too many to name) lovelies that you bring. hello, fall. welcome. i am going to embrace and love and enjoy you. and try to bake as many pumpkin cookies as last year's pumpkin shortage will allow.