brett dennen sings a fabulous song, one of my favorites of his, called 'san francisco'. one of my favorite lines is 'deep in the tenderloin, you can have anything you want'. so when the bellhop today told me to not walk to meet my aunt and cousin at the san fran library, because i'd be walking through the tenderloin, i was secretly excited. i planned on walking through the tenderloin, panhandlers and all, to get what i wanted.
and although my aunt picked me up and drove us the six or so blocks through the tenderloin to the library, i still got what i wanted. and more. oh, so much more.
auntie and i parked in front of the library, fed the meter ($3 for 1 hour) (!) and walked to find a coffee shop. the only thing we found as the wind whisked us down the center walkway in front of the captial, was a grungy corner donut shop. we entered, got a coffee and donut and went back through the windy thoroughfare, scoping out the local farmer's market that was set up there. i could get whatever i wanted here, if i wanted: fresh fruits, fresh vegetables, fresh fish, or fresh flavored pistachios or almonds. i ended up getting honery-roasted almonds, despite not being hungry. how could i not?
we went into the library to take a break from the wind, and waited in the lower 'cafe' for my cousin. we sat in a booth and chatted, catching up on my love life and her recent jensen reunion adventure. oh how i love my auntie and miss her!
cousin showed up shortly, we chatted more and then headed upstairs to find the book cousin was looking for. the book was on an end aisle, next to a long bank of computers. the computer users faced the opposite walls (backs towards us) and the screens faced us. as we turned to leave with the book in hand, auntie stopped and turned cousin pointedly towards the computer wall. we both looked, and i thought perhaps she was subtley pointing out a weird fashion statement. instead, we both looked at the computer screen in front of us and saw two naked people, a large penis and a slutty woman performing very vivid, unabashed hard core porn on the screen in front of us. the boy in front of the screen had headphones over his hoodie pulled over his head, and his size indicated he was probably was about the same age as my 16 year old (other) cousin.
we promptly reported this shocking view to the front information desk: the man behind turned to the older, gray-haired lady next to him, shrugged his shoulders, and she (!) explained that they don't censor here at the san fran library, and there are no blocked sites, so it's not something they care about, and we should not look at other people's computer screens. obviously, what were we thinking?!
see, in the tenderloin, you can get anything you want!
as we drove away a few minutes later, a man in daisy duke shorts, shaved legs, army boots, and huge bug-eyed glasses, sucking a lollypop, jaywalked in front of us, long blonde hair blowing in the wind.
see, you can get anything you want!
about 20 yards later, auntie pointed to the bus stop on the right. a large homeless man had just pulled down his pants, and we saw his white legs and curve of his rear end bending over as he let it... go....all...the...way....
see, anything, i'm telling you- anything.
auntie then pulled up to my hotel about two blocks later, and informed me that the hotel itself is in the actual tenderloin.
i think i am going to need to redefine what it is i want.
that's like the anti-burger king.
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