back in the saddle.

it's been a long time. i suppose the last post was technically only 11 days ago, but that was a 'gimme' post- nothing of substance there, really.

that said, i'm intimidated to come back. intimidated to write; not quite sure of what in my life has been actual blog-worthy and what is really just normal, uninteresting life... the thing is, when i'm in the habit of blogging, every day life easily contains funny stories and anecdotes, and i know exactly what to write about. having been out of the blog-habit, all of the same stories and anecdotes become just that: stories. so how do i get back into seeing everyday life as fun stories to recollect and share with those who care enough to read? (that's you, btw)

i need practice. so, i blog. and here is my first try back, and it's really story free... i just need a good exercise in writing. i need to flex the fingers, loosen up the wrists, get the ol' brain juices running again, down the cracking, dry riverbeds of creativity.

here goes.

this dry spell reminds me of my spirituality, really. when i get in the habit of praying and reading and reflecting and spending time with Him, it comes so naturally. the feelings of connectedness are there, without much effort, and i feel easily happy and satisfied.  that's nice. but if i get out of the habit, that feeling of contentment and peace tends to dissipate, and i am left wondering where my God has gone. in reality, He's gone nowhere: it is i who have strayed.

blogging is the same, in that instance: my blog has been here the whole time, but where have i been? i suppose that's a good question... working at kaiser, working at kaiser in san fran, working at kaiser at home, working at the church, calling people back from the church and arranging schedules and upping my hours at the church, baking in my kitchen, delivering baked goods from my kitchen to two different sides of the city- entailing a 45 minute drive to get to a, 45 minutes to get from a to b, and then 45 minutes to get from b to home... where else? oh, in my bathroom painting, two coats each of two different color paints, and then changing out hardware and such. also in my laundry room, painting dr. seuss-like green and yellow stripes. i've also been trying to walk my dogs, work out and train for a triathlon next weekend. and, getting ready for a house warming party. and meeting up with friends and a girl from church to start our small group. and been dating a boy. and this, and that. and that's all within the past two weeks!

that said, this is a great example of the whole idea of this blog, entitled a long obsession in the same direction'. i believe my writing life does, when played out over time, parallel my spiritual life... i am, by self-declaration, a Christ-loving and following young woman. with that comes the ups and downs of following Christ over time, and the daily obsession i have with trying to be more like Him that ebbs and flows. in reality, my closeness to Him and my walk is dependent on the day; the key is that i remain obsessed and in love with Christ over time, despite set backs or feelings of isolation.

writing a blog mirrors that idea: my closeness to writing ideas and my ability to write exactly what and when i want is dependent on the day and circumstances of my life: the key is that i remain obsessed- or at least come back after long hiatuses or breaks, and get back on the wagon.

yee haw.