(e)x marks the spot

last year, at the westword music showcase, i ran into the ex's sister in law, brother, and the ex himself. i somewhat anticipated it, but didn't think that in the span of a five block concert, we would really see each other. of course, i literally ran into him. it was hard and adrenaline producing- it was only a few weeks post break-up and i was emotionally raw. the little pieces of my broken heart had been glued back together, but when i saw him. the glue wasn't dry and i was fragile, and it fell apart again.

this year, at the westword music showcase, i ran into the ex's sister-in-law, brother, but not the ex himself (i think he was waiting in the wings for me to leave). it was, again, hard, but not bad; it was actually good. i knew that i would see them and/or him, and i truly felt ready. it's been over a year since the break up (isn't it funny how time flies and stands still at the same time?!) and the glue in my broken heart has dried quite nicely. of course, there are still scars, so seeing his family and emembering that world together rubbed the scars a little raw, but by the end of the day (or the next), with a few (or a lot) of prayers for peace and loving kindness for myself, i made it through without cracking.

the best part of both of these instances is that each of these days, one year apart, were pretty much the best days of my life. when i look back on them both, i remember nothing but pure fun and joy and love for life and my friends. even though one day felt, for a second, like congestive heart failure, and the other felt, for a second, like a punch in the stomach, both were amazing, wonderful days. this to me tells me that i am healed: yes, my heart has scars that ache sometimes, but the point is, they are scars, not open wounds.