1371 spruce street

so today is the day. i think i am going to put an offer on the house.

oh.

my.

gosh.

am i really that grown up? am i really ready to OWN a house? am i ready to live in the SAME PLACE for years at a time? am i ready to put in work in the yard, and the carpet, and the closet, and this, and that? am i ready to have the money for an appraiser and inspector and a sewer scope and...? am i ready to move the dogs, the new roommate, myself? am i ready to trade in my huge, rented room for small rooms that are mine?

i think so. i feel anxious, i won't lie. but not an anxiety that says, 'oh kaci, what are you doing?'... it's not that anxiety, the one i associate with bad decisions like staying with the wrong guy for too long, or spending too much money on my credit card... it's not anxiety that comes from me convincing myself that my bad decision is really a good one, when i know in my heart it's not. this anxiety is more like, 'wow. this could happen. you could do this. you ARE doing this. this is a commitment. this is a change. this is a big deal. and yet, it's just a house. it doesn't define me'.

so. there we have it. the offer should go in today; we'll hear back i think by friday, and then, then, the process really begins. i thought just finding the house would be the process, and the paperwork would be easy breezy. i was wrong: finding and looking at houses was easy, like picking out cupcakes at the Shoppe... Lots of different flavors, none better or worse, just finding the one that suits me best. now the process of 'grown up' begins.

buena suerte.