puppy love

myla went away and came back a little bit more behaved.

she knows what to do when i tell her, she knows 'off', 'down', 'sit', 'come', 'get your ball' and even 'go to your house'.... but only when she's in the mood to pay attention. when she is in the right mood, she obeys every single thing i say to her, she comes even when she just suspects that i call her- i can just raise my voice in a sing-songy way, and over she prances, an expectant look on her face: 'yeah, mom, yeah? what are we going to do? are we going to play? are you going to pet me? will you give attention? huh, huh? i love attention! let's play!"

jola is the opposite- she is older, been around the block. she knows that all my sing-songy voices don't always equal treats or petting. she knows that i sometimes make her do things she does not want to do. she knows all the same commands that myla does (minus the ball and house thing... she's way too cool for that) but more often than not, just does them out of duty, not excitement to please me and get a prize. jola's older, so she has an excuse.

when i think of my relationship with God, i want to be like myla, more often than not (minus the dancing with traffic part). the eagerness and desire to follow me everywhere makes me feel good and loved, and makes me want to take care of her even more. i imagine this is how God feels about me. i get so mad at her when she does bad, but can't stay angry too long because, well, she's got these puppy eyes...

on the other hand, i want to be like jola, comfortable with my Caretaker, knowing He will take care of me and provide for me, and obeying without even thinking. i look at jola and she has the most special place in my heart because she means that much to me. she is my first dog, she was the representation of what life is about... without jola, i feel incomplete. i would imagine God feels this way about me too. His Word tells me that He loves me so much, i don't have to worry about anything- clothes, food, what i'll do tomorrow. God has it all under control.

myla does sometimes choose to flat out ignore me. like today, she saw a kid on a scooter with his mom and their dog- she runs right across the street, barking her little head off, as i yell and push the shock-collar button. she dodges between two cars as i go into slight cardiac arrest, and then she comes back when she is ready. or later, she walks two houses down to sniff a tree and will not come back no matter what i say. she has a mind of her own, and it's obvious she's smart enough to choose when she wants to follow me or not.

jola does the same- CatDog, as we know her, will tease me with distance after she runs away: just close enough to be reachable, just far enough away i can't get her. she knows what she is supposed to be doing, but does what SHE wants instead.

neither of my girls are meaning, necessarily, to go against me- they just want what they want when they want it, and they are in a 'me' world at that point. i want to change that about my relationship with God. i want to learn to recognize His tug on my leash, His prompting that says, "I know what's good for you, better than you do". because as much as i would like to think i have it all under control and i know what i need, God has such a better idea..

the girls also are good at being in a loving world too- many times i can tell they are focused on me and nothing else. it breaks my heart with joy to see them follow me so closely. so i guess the 'me' and 'loving' worlds can coincide within the same heart. it's just finding a balance.  i just pray that i don't run out into the street when i'm in my me world...