In my house, I see (and cherish!) this specifically in the mornings: my kiddos have a very predictable waking time, which means I get to choose how productive I want to get up and be before they greet the day with their melodic shouts of waking joy (or, more accurately, their whimpering, nasal-y cries of neediness).
Side note: just because I have the predictable choice every morning, doesn't mean I make good choices. Most mornings, I choose none. None mornings of productivity before the small dictators of the house awake. I lay in bed, hanging onto the wee moments of peace and sleepiness where I can pretend my life is not run by cute but utterly demanding minuscule people).
Once, though, this one time (yesterday), I did choose to get up (aka move my body to a slightly inclined position), grab some coffee and READ MY BIBLE in bed while waiting for awakening babes. Miracles of all miracles! And that one time, I stumbled upon this verse, which struck a chord:
"...I don't concern myself with matters too great or too awesome to grasp. Instead I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother's milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within..." Psalm 131:1-2
Weaned child? Mother's milk? Ew. For whatever reason this imagery just grossed me out. So naturally, I re-read the verse a few more times and asked God to help me understand WITW was going on here.
What I immediately thought, of course, was of my own little world and connection to babies and milk. This is actually super relevant right now: my youngest is one year old (sob!!) in two weeks and with that comes the ability to wean him off the bottle/formula he drinks every day. It's a daunting task on the surface, but I've started to notice he's actually sort of doing it himself. Each morning over the last few weeks he has woken me up with babbles ("Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Ya ya ya! Hi!" .... Sooooo cute) instead of wailing hunger pains. He's tossed his morning bottle to the side before he's finished it, instead turning to play with me or look for his brother.
Not only is it adorable to wake up to, but it's relieving. It reminds me to trust his process, and to see that he trusts me. A newborn wakes up with urgency, hunger, immediacy: he needs milk and needs it NOW. His belly has digested his last feeding and needs more, there's no time to wait! (middle of the night feelings, anyone?!)
A weaned, growing baby is a relief to a mama; there is less urgency. His belly is big enough to hold his night feeding til morning (yay sleep!) and he is contented with enough knowledge and security to know that I will come to him and he will be satiated. Dare I say a weaned baby is on the verge of a small, baby-sized does of maturity?!
Reading this verse, while thinking of my baby still in bed and waiting for his wakening cries made me think: this is exactly how I want to be with the Lord: Contented. Trusting. Knowing my meal will be provided for. Being mature and developed enough to hold trust between each encounter I have with the Lord.
"I don't concern myself with matters to great or too awesome to grasp..." It says. I am not sure about you, but right now I'm for sure in a life season that is too "great" to grasp right now. I don't know why people around me are sick and struggling; I don't know why I am being called to serve beyond what feels like my capacity; I don't know why we can't catch a simple rhythm in our daily lives. It's too great for me to grasp, in all honesty. And if I try to figure it out, spend my time making sense of it all and trying to understand it, I drive myself crazy.
Instead, this moment and verse reminded me I need to trust: to turn to my God and settle into the calm and quiet His way provides. He has shown up time and time again in my life- in so many ways that I could not even fathom or make sense of at the time- but he has shown up.
And he will again. And again. And again! Just like I show up, every morning, again, with loving arms and a full bottle for my own baby.
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