the touch of death

(...the blue screen of my life)

everything electronic i touch turns out badly. 

i am not exaggerating. 

ask my friends, family, even coworkers: i've had maybe 6 personal laptops in as many years, 6 work computers in five years, nine cellphones in eight years, and i'm sure the list goes on. even this january, when an old college friend came out to celebrate the big 3-0, and i complained about my phone, she said 'you always have problems with your phones!!'. keep in mind, this chick has known me for 8 years, and if she remembers that back in 2004 i had phone problems, well... i can't be making this up. 

my favorite is that when i bring something in to get fixed, say to geeksquad, the phone store, or work IT, they always say the same thing: 'huh. that's weird. i don't know what that is. i've never seen it do that,' which is then followed by some fiddling around that takes minutes or days, and then they say, 'well, we don't know, so we just got you a new one'. which of course, i'm not complaining about, but it just makes me wonder: what gives??

my fiance questioned my monthly phone insurance payment when we joined our accounts. 'is this necessary?' he asked. 'yes. for $7 a month, it's worth it.'. i've used my phone insurance plan three times in the past three years to get replacements. 

and guess what? i learned that my s*** touch does not limit itself to handheld electronics. i recently drove my fiance's car while we were searching for a new one, and he has a touch screen radio. and guess what i got while i was driving? 

that's right. 

the good news is that the radio still worked (and works) just fine. no permanent damage, just a little blue screen popping up to say hi, make me feel at home and welcome in the qx4 while i drove it. 

moral of the story: don't let me touch. 

anything.