MOW

(...vern is funny).

the smelliest, grossest nice thing i do

once a month i do meals on wheels (MOW) in a little retirement community by work. it's usually non-eventful, but it does sometimes surprise.

today, this is what happened.:

i rang the bell.
no answer.
i went back to my car, and checked the number. yep, right one.
i walked back to the door.
i went to ring the bell again, but stopped.
i saw an old man behind the glass door, in a wife beater tank top and khaki pants.
he was old and wrinkley and had age spotted arms and face.
his shoulders sloped, his waist was huge. gravity had pulled all his fat around his midsection.

and he was doing his pants up, both belt and button.
"did you ring my bell?" he asked.
"yes! i have meals on wheels for you!"
"well. i had my pants down." said vern.


i almost died.