grandpa bud

my grandpa has never been the 'grandpa' that everyone talks about in the movies: he was never that little, frail, smiley old man that played tricks with us, pulling quarters from behind our ears or letting us sit on his lap and us funny stories. grandpa bud (whose real name is james, in case you're wondering) has always been a bit large: his physical presence, his voice, his reputation, his volatility. even just a few years ago, when i lived with my grandparents for a few short months, grandpa still intimidated me a bit, yelling to me about everything i was secretly insecure about- pushing buttons i didn't even know he was cognizant enough to see. needless to say, he was not a relative that i understood well, nor did i know if i wanted to.

until now.

grandpa has softened. he's still large physically, but his voice, his words, his reputation have all shrunk. his heart has grown exponentially larger- i imagine it like the grinch's heart that grew three sizes that day- and his love for his wife/my grandma, and his family has become almost tangible.

grandpa now collects and tumbles rocks- polishing and cutting them into beautiful shapes and turning them into jewelry pieces that he sends us for christmas. last summer, the ex and i went out, and grandpa took us into his shed and explained, in his own bumbling way, the four steps to tumbling rocks. he took us into his basement studio and showed us all the necklaces and belt buckles he's made, and i caught a glimpse of a tiny piece of paper with his handwriting that said 'jesus loves you'. my heart melted. the past two christmas's, grandpa has sent us girls gifts, specifically picked out for us. last year he sent us individual cards with money in them and little notes. he has the funniest, wryest sense of humor that is easy to miss yet so hilarious when you catch it....

yesterday, in the mail, i received the best thing i have ever gotten in the mail, period:

"Hi Kaci; Just thought of you guys while I was sitting here counting my $. Maybe you could use a little chunk. Love you Much, Grandpa Bud"

love the thought of him sitting around, counting his money... i mean, $.

 i checked with my sister kels, and her letter told her that he was sitting around, thinking of the time they were on the mississippi river and they made a bet that she won and he lost, so he better pay up.

we've never been to the mississippi river.  <3

sidenote: got an email from my mom- apparently we HAVE been to the mississippi river, so perhaps my grandpa is remembering a great time we had there. and a real bet.