the dating game

i hate slash love the game of dating...

pros: 
the twitterpation. i love feeling googly inside.
the game. i like having someone to think about and wondering if he's thinking of me. and then wondering if he is thinking of me, what is he thinking? and does he wonder if i'm thinking of him? the cheesy possibilities of this game are endless.
the potential. what if this actually is something good? i mean, i love getting to know new people no matter what, so it's already good in a way; but what if it is actually what i WANT?!
the newness. i love meeting someone new and getting to really know someone, trying to see life through their eyes and experiences.
the relationship possibility. i like being in relationships. i like having a best friend. i like having emotional intimacy and sharing interests and having someone be there through the hard stuff and being a 'we'. that's the ultimate goal of dating, right? find a best friend to do life with with whom you can also make out with?! i'm in! 
the first three dates: the first three dates when you have no real idea if you like him, you just think you like him because you're twitterpated and playing the game and it's all new and possible... those are the best dates. the ones that end in awkward, lovely long eye contacts and hugs and 'oh, do we kiss now or not?' dates that feel like movie scenes.those are priceless and really only happen a few times in life.

cons:
the (waiting) game. i do not like having someone to think about and wondering if he's thinking of me.do i call? do i text? i know it's a 'three day' rule with phone calls but do standard dating rules apply to texting and boys you meet online?
the self-consciousness. no matter how confident i am about myself before i meet someone, i always become painfully aware of my insecurities when a new guy could be in the picture... is that my fourth pimple in this week? where did that gray hair come from? why are my jeans so tight? how old is this wardrobe?
the awkwardness. getting to know someone's sense of humor, how you interact together, how often they like to talk on the phone, what they mean when they say one thing and possibly mean another... who IS this person? do i need to remember this detail of this story?
the sharing. who do i tell? when do i tell? what is there to tell? when is it ok to update the facebook status?
the 'i hope he likes me' factor: what if we meet, and i like him, and he rejects me? oh the horror!
the 'i hope he doesn't have three legs and is abnormally small in stature' factor: meeting someone online and exchanging great emails and phone calls can be great, but let's be honest: it's no dice unless there's a physical chemistry factor, and that is not easily determined through words alone.
the 4th through 10th dates: when you're pretty sure you like him for real, and he likes you for real, and you're just beginning to define if this is going to maybe go somewhere but you don't know where, and you're establishing patterns together. i hate that part. it's not first date twitterpation and it's not a safe, familiar pattern of relationship... . that in between is hard stuff.