independent no more! (at least today)

you know that feeling you get- everyone knows this feeling: the feeling that comes when a really bad flu or sickness hits you, and you're at a place in your life where you are finally "grown up" and on your own, maybe living in your own place or a different state than your parents, and all you want is your mom to take care of you? it's the feeling when you get really sick- the sick where you can't fend for yourself and you don't know how to make it better and you just want someone to bring you water and scratch your back and make you soup and let you do whatever you want and tell you it's ok?

that feeling, that comfort of home, that longing is rarely met, at least for me, in my adult years. partly because i rarely ever get that sick, and partly because i never let myself admit that i want, or need, that level of care.

the past four days, i've been living at my mom's house, and living in that state of care. now, i'm not sick- i actually feel very, very good- but i am very dependent on others to help me with silly things: taping my leg up to take a 'real' shower, following me from room to room or up the stairs with a drink or anything else i want to bring with me, taking me to the grocery store. it's a level of care i'm not used to, and frankly, don't really like. or thought i didn't like- until now.

i am leaving the comfort of my mom's home tomorrow morning, and if i'm honest with myself, i'm bummed. i've really enjoyed the past four days here- yes, in theory it's great to have people do things for me when i ask, but really, i don't like people doing things for me. it's the quality of time together, and the meaning behind the favors, that has been so touching and meaningful to me. being able to ask my mom and dad to bring me ice water or make a leg scratcher that fits in my boot or to cut my pills up so i don't get nauseous... those are silly things that, when i ask for them, they are done out of love and generosity. and that makes it worth it.

it's been a hard lesson to be dependent on others, just in the four short days; i know once real world kicks in and work and things like that happen, it will be an even tougher lesson.

so thank you to my mom and dad- you have been the best help and made this experience completely enjoyable. i love you both oh so much! and good luck with my girls for a few more weeks :)

and thank you to kels, for coming over to see me and do photoshoots with me. always the best sister time.

and thanks to lia, and brandon, for my day dates. nothing better than getting out of the house and having a good time with good friends. special thanks to lia for the late night walmart dog food run!

and thanks to ash, and rachel, and michelle, and all other friends who have called to check in and entertain me :)

real world, here i come!!