twelve cents and a coffee, please

my new dress:

i picked it out at old navy on sun, as part of my anti-lonely, yay-fall, i-need-sweaters-shopping spree. and melis was there to help. they only had a medium, which was ok because the dress is pretty shapeless and didn't look TOO big. however, because it's a "shirt-dress', meaning it looks almost like an oversized men's shirt, i wanted a small to not feel like such a bag lady, or a hussy when i wore the long 'shirt' over tights... so we looked for a small but couldn't find one. i still loved it, even in medium, and melis said it looked fine, and that's great, so i bought it.

so fast forward to this am and i put on said dress and notice the tag is still on... i leave it on, even though i wear the dress to work, and just tuck the tag in.

however, when i put it on, along with black leather slouchy boots and purple tights, i just feel like i am wearing a TENT and want the smaller one. i mean shapeless is one thing but baggy tent dress is another. melis still says it looks fine, but i'm not convinced.

so, at 10:10am at work, i go to the bathroom, take off the dress and put my long wool coat on over my bra, tights and boots and head off to old navy, butt-nekked under my coat and tights. i walk around the store with my dress in my hand, no one knowing i'm pretty much naked under my coat except for me. (and in reality, we're all naked under our clothes anyway, right?) i find a small- the only small- and walk up to the counter to exchange. of course, i'm nervous as she takes the old one (the one i was JUST WEARING) and am afraid she'll look at me and just know...

she scans the tag, and then speaks: "um, m'am. you can't exchange something you've already worn. this smells like you, in fact, are you wearing anything under your coat?!" no, really she doesn't say that but time stands still for three seconds while she scans the tag once, then twice, before she gives me the small and takes the medium."you owe me 12 cents" she says. and yes, she actually says this part, because the sales tax here is higher than the store where i bought it. gladly i dig out 12 cents from my wallet and hand it to her, telling her i don't need a bag. cause I don't- i'm going to go wear this dress at work in approximately five minutes!

on the way back, I had to stop at starbucks to pick up a coffee for a coworker, so just to go with the fun aspect of mid-week nekkedness, i go in to the store in nothing but coat, boots and tights. of course, i hear someone call my name, and see another coworker sitting in a booth. i stop and we chat for a while, and then i excuse myself because "i need to get mae's coffee, and of course, i also need to put on some clothes". back at the office, i rapidly change in the restroom, and my nekked adventure is over.


guess what? the small looks the exact same as the medium. BUT i do not feel like a bag lady, and i DO feel like the whole story was worth 12 cents.